Horseplay
by Talibra
Summary: The nations learn that Friendship is Magic, all thanks to the joys of becoming Bronies. Cracky/fluffy oneshot. Various pairings and characters.


**AN: **Old kink meme fill that I stumbled across in my documents recently, hah. To understand this, you'll have to know of _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_, and the 'Brony' phenomenon.

* * *

**horseplay**

* * *

**One**

There are two possibilities, Poland thinks, as he stares at the screen with wide eyes and an open mouth.

The world is either ending, or seriously improving.

No other explanation can be put forward for why such brilliance is playing out on the television. The screen is dominated by colourful characters with magnificent manes, gorgeous horses that Poland wishes he could run through fields with and whisk Lithuania away atop one of them.

(Probably Rainbow Dash. Though she's not the most romantic, she's definitely the most bad-ass, and it would take a lot of pony-power to beat back Russia in order to rescue Lithuania.)

"I don't know why you're watching that," the enraged voice of Prussia announces, as he raids Poland's fridge without asking for permission. "It's for little girls. What are you, Liechtenstein or something?"

"You," Poland says, "should watch it. You'd like it."

(If Prussia were a character in the brilliance that is _Friendship is Magic_, he would almost certainly be Spike.)

"Like hell you'd ever catch me wasting time with that shit," Prussia scoffs, taking on his usual smirk and waving his hand dismissively.

By the end of the day he's hooked, and he's willing to die to defend Princess Luna's honour.

* * *

**Two**

It's dark.

The cover of darkness is a welcome one, because then people won't be able to see what Austria is about to do.

He knows, somewhere deep down inside, that he really should stop. His addiction isn't a healthy one; he's been doing this for God knows how long, scouring the cities of his homeland after dusk to feed his compulsions. Of course, if one were to ask him about what business he gets up to at night, his answer would always be one of denial, making up some lie about staying at home to play piano.

And nobody would suspect a thing. That's how he likes it.

Currently, Austria has his eyes set on a toy shop across the street, lit only by the glow of its security lights that are permanently left on in an attempt to deter thieves. As he lifts the frying pan he borrowed earlier from Hungary and raises it above his head, preparing to bring it down to smash the glass, he thinks that light-bulbs are not the best thief deterrent in the world.

It's shameful, but he can't help it. He simply has to be the first to get the new _My Little Fashion Pony Rarity_ figurine, even if means resorting to theft to obtain it.

(He likes to save money.)

* * *

**Three**

Against everybody's will, it has become routine for the Baltics to assemble on Russia's sofa at the end of every working day, to settle in and catch the Russian-dubbed _MLP:FiM_ double-bill that broadcasts every day to only Russia's house.

(He loves the show and he doesn't want to share it with his people. Besides, it wouldn't do for a former Soviet country to allow his citizens access to too many American shows, of all things.)

Latvia huddles against Estonia and Estonia grips onto Lithuania, the trio readying themselves for the horrors they are about to witness, knowing that if they say one bad thing about the show Russia will be ready with his faucet pipe. Beaming at his companions, Russia turns on the television and takes his place in his favourite armchair as the show begins to start.

"_I used to wonder what friendship could be_..."

Latvia screams.

* * *

**Four**

Trying his best to look seductive, Finland rests his head into Sweden's lap and stares up at his partner with half-lidded eyes.

"Do you know what we should do, Swe?" Finland asks, attempting to lower his voice to a purr, tracing a finger up and down the row of buttons on Sweden's shirt. "We should go upstairs for a while. Sealand is at England's house and nobody's visiting today."

"No," Sweden says, as blunt as ever.

Finland pouts. "Why not?"

"_My Little Pony_," Sweden replies, gesturing towards the television that is currently lit up with images of cartoon horses.

"We can watch that later," Finland says, rolling his eyes. "Sex is more important, yes?"

Sweden stares at Finland with an expression of shock. He's not usually so easy-to-read but he truly appears to be horrified. "No. _My Little Pony_."

Finland sighs, stands up, and walks away to finish the laundry. Sex can wait, ponies come first, and Finland's just going to have to accept that.

* * *

**Five**

"Yo, Canada!"

At the sound of someone shouting to him Canada turns around, a sleeping Kumajirou in his arms. He's wary because he doesn't want to get into an argument with anyone, but he's thankful that for once someone's recognised him as _Canada_ instead of America.

"Cuba," Canada greets when he sees who it is, smiling instantly.

(He isn't sure why, but Cuba always makes him happy.)

"How have you been?" Cuba asks, patting Canada heartily on the back. He's strong and he almost makes Canada drop Kumajirou, but Canada doesn't mind because Cuba's nice.

"I've been good, thanks," Canada says, his smile growing. "A-and you?"

Cuba stares at him for a moment or two in some sort of contemplation before laughing and wrapping an arm around Canada's shoulders.

"You're such a Fluttershy, Can. Don't ever change."

Canada doesn't know what that means, but he takes it as a compliment.

* * *

**Six**

"This is absolutely preposterous." England's arms are folded and his legs are crossed as he sits on the floor next to America. "This is the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"What do you mean, buddy?" America asks, still moving around his plastic Applejack figure in a clip-clop motion to simulate the walk of a real horse.

"You're an adult now," England says. "And adults do not play with toys."

"I agree," America replies, lifting his Pinkie Pie doll in his other hand and swooping it down through the air (even adding a 'whoosh' sound effect as he does so). "But these aren't toys. These are _My Little Pony_."

England doesn't look impressed. "_My Little Pony_ is for children."

America is outraged. "You take that back!"

Eyes narrowing, England leans forward to give America a challenging glare. "I shan't. You're an idiot, America."

Hurt, America recoils, staring at England with a trembling lip for a good few minutes as he tries to stop himself from crying. And then he finally settles on lifting up a Princess Celestia figure and thrusting it into England's face.

"I don't want this thing!" England snaps. "She's not even a bloody unicorn!"

"Good, 'cause I'm not giving you her," America responds. "I'm just showing you that, it's okay to think My Little Pony is for kids, 'cause Princess Celestia forgives you and so do I. And we're still friends."

England smiles and his demeanour softens. "You're such an idiot..."

* * *

**end**


End file.
